It’s really hard to engage with my job when I hear what is happening in the world. The narrative I was given that used to make it seem meaningful is no longer working. I no longer believe in what I’m doing, especially when I consider what its place is within this system, and even the very nature of so-called “employment”. Not just what it is in the narrow sense of having to work for money, but what it really is due the context within which it resides.
It is not simply a “reward for services rendered” that I’m supposed to believe. It is life held ransom to illegitimate structures of control called companies, corporations, private industry. Both subjugator and subjugated sing the same song. If “Work or die” is the chorus, then “No excuses” would be the crescendo. “If I can do it, you can too” we mindlessly drone.
That is until something happens. “The economy” takes a dip. You hurt your hand. You lose your mind. You remember the liner notes of that song telling you that everyone gets the help they need if they only try. You suddenly realize that there were no references or phone numbers next to it. You just “knew” it was true… until you didn’t.
The truth is that I grew up with white picket fences and the fallacy of a “just-world” where people simply and predictably get precisely what they deserve. I’ve been viciously torn from that delusion as I’ve born witness to the brutal reality of other people. I’ve seen these so-called safety nets and support structures and how they operate at the ground level. They are emaciated and hollow at best. They occasionally help but often do more harm than good. The less you fit the structural, ideological narrative of who belongs in society the less tangible that help becomes.
You see, their stated and supposedly intended purposes have been twisted and contorted under pressure. Their modus operadi is swayed by the same hierarchical power structure that everything is ultimately subject to.
From the very inception of colonial North America, it was designed this way. Money is power: Increasingly ignorant, delusional and self-serving power. This power increases exponentially as it feed in upon itself, gaining more momentum. That momentum is fed by corporate lobbying, infiltration into government regulatory agencies, and increasingly through access to military and civil control (police).
We may now be reaching a crucial tipping point as they begin to infiltrate our schools with corporate programming.
With each new generation we seem to be becoming more inured and unaware. We become increasingly lost in a self-destructive cycle of mindless consumerism, chasing empty promises of pre-packaged happiness.
It is not only ruthless, but mindless. Even as it becomes increasingly apparent that this imbalance in power is detrimental and destructive to the majority of people, it is only increasing in pace.
An often overlooked characteristic of the culture of power, is that it is not simply fueled by mustache twisting, comic-book villain evil. Yes, it does follow the patterns of Narcisism and the sociopath, it’s true.
But just as it is with everyday individuals, there is in impoverish and fearful ego behind it all. Their jackboot is on our throat, but in the back of their minds they are terrified. If they let up for a moment, all their precious control will be stolen away. If not by us, then by each other.
Yes, these lowlifes dare to need help. The brazen welfare queens conspire to live that sweet, sweet free ride with their painted nails, and limousine trips to the welfare office. They have their own conspiracy theories, as mythical as the Sasquatch, and it seems to include anyone who dares challenge them.
There is no fucking sweet life. I’ve met them, the real people. They are looked down upon and downright terrorized every damn place they turn, forced to hide their situation for fear of judgment, and scorned for it when they are caught. You wouldn’t be there if you didn’t deserve it after all. You are presumed guilty and demanded upon to prove your innocence. It’s an exercise in futility designed to satisfy your demanders’ as every fact will be discarded and thrown in your face. You are demanded to agree with them about your guilt before they will agree to give you any pittance of their “help” which tends to be either useless or demeaning.
This is what I now know to be waiting for me. Should I ever crack and need to get out of this dysfunctional, abusive workplace, this is what I can look forward too. I know this now. If I were a woman, had more pigment in my skin, or especially a mental health diagnosis, I could expect it to be much worse.
The mental health systems, at least here in Manitoba, do not actually believe in mental health. To them it’s a bogus construct for people who just aren’t trying hard enough, a convenient excuse. There is no reality but their reality and if you refuse to acknowledge it, you will be crushed under it.
I must acknowledge that I have things better than probably 90% of the rest of the planet, this is true, but even then, that reality has also been these power imbalances, these broken structures, and our poisonous ideologies.
We are caught up in a grand delusion. Everything is fine. Go about your business. Nothing can be done anyway. Might as well go buy another TV.
No! Fuck that!